Ouran of the Opera
by Moonchild10
Summary: When Haruhi finds herself trapped in yet another European literary classic, she decides Tamaki can be the only culprit. Perhaps revenge is in order? Pure crack.


**Disclaimer: Ouran belongs to Bisco Hatori, and The Phantom of the Opera belongs to that sexy Frenchman, Gaston Leroux. XD**

**I apologize for contributing to the huge amount of fics that follow the whole "trapped in a dream" scenario, but I couldn't resist writing this one, since POTO has been my favorite novel since grade school, and the movies are pretty good too. **

**I tried to keep an Ouran flavor to this whole thing, so I hope it turned out alright! 8D**

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Though of course she was not expecting it, Haruhi had to admit that she was not surprised. When she strolled into what would normally have been a sizeable music room a bit late on Monday morning, she found the usual Host Club décor missing. In its place, there were an infinite number of seats taking up far more space than the room's usual size would allow, and a large, ornate wooden stage up at the front. Above her, the catwalks and ceiling rose almost too high to see. Sighing in slight irritation, she closed the door behind her and wandered into the room, shifting the books in her arms.

"Hello? Kyouya-sempai? Hikaru? Kaoru? Anyone?" she took several more steps forward in the dimness, glancing around. She was going to be seriously angry if she was the only one showing up, especially since Tamaki had given her specific instructions to come before school today. Irritated, she glanced around once more. She could have sworn that she saw a flash of movement as a dark shadow zipped past on one of the catwalks above, but a much brighter movement to her left almost immediately distracted her .

"Haruhi! Where have you been?!" a flash of long hair (which flew into Haruhi's face) alerted her to the presence of Renge not three inches away from her, tugging insistently on her arm. The taller girl was dressed in a pale pink leotard, with a poofy skirt to match. Though she found it bizarre, Haruhi knew that with Renge it was better not to ask.

"At home…" the slightly bewildered host replied as Renge proceeded to undo the buttons on Haruhi's blazer. "Renge! What are you doing?" Haruhi leaped backward, and Renge glared daggers at her.

"She's trying to get you into your outfit so you won't be late for rehearsal," a calm voice informed her from somewhere behind Renge. A tall, dark-haired boy stood staring at her, slightly amused, from over the top of a clipboard.

"Kyouya-sempai! What's going on?" she asked him. She tried not to pay attention to the fact that he wore a green velvet dress and he somehow had long black hair twisted up into a bun on the back of his head.

"That's Madame Ootori to you, young lady," Kyouya told her curtly, writing something down. "I am your elder, and you will address me as such," the tall male pushed his glasses up onto his nose and turned his attention back to his work. "Now, if you would please allow my daughter to help you get dressed--"

"Daughter?" Haruhi glanced between Renge and Kyouya several times, not liking where this was going. It was one of those moments when she seriously considered turning around and running, or attempting to go back in time and change ever having stumbled into the Host Club and their bizarre world in the first place.

"Yes, daughter! He's my mother! Now hurry up and put on this costume! La Haninozuka does not like to be kept waiting!" Renge shoved the pink frilly outfit into Haruhi's arms and shoved her up the steps to the backstage area. She fairly flung her into a small, curtained off dressing room. Still more than a bit bewildered, Haruhi stared at the costume until Renge poked her head in.

"Do I need to do it for you?" she asked, madness glinting in her eyes. Haruhi leaped backward slightly, shaking her head.

"No! I'll do it!" she protested, stripping as quickly as she could when the girl's head disappeared and then holding up the outfit, pausing for a moment to puzzle over it. It was a strange pink leotard like the one Renge had been wearing. The tutu appeared to be attached, and it had to go on all in one piece. While she attempted to squeeze into it, Renge poked her head in once more to force a pair of ballet slippers and pink tights into her hands. Sighing, Haruhi did her best to get it all on quickly, but it proved a near-impossible task. Her foot when through the leg of the tights while she attempted to put them on, so when she finally did succeed in getting them up to her waist there was a large hole in the calf. She couldn't manage how to figure out how to tie the shoes, and eventually she stumbled out of the changing room a disheveled mess.

"This won't do!" Renge declared, pointing one finger dramatically in the air. "You look like you just got out of bed with an ogre… an ogre who has a sick fetish for ballerinas! And possibly role-playing!"

"I haven't exactly put on a ballet costume before," Haruhi reminded her, eyebrow twitching ever so slightly as Renge scrutinized her with one hand on her chin, index finger repeatedly tapping her lip.

"There's nothing I can do!" she declared spectacularly. "But fix those ribbons on your slippers, will you? You could trip and accidentally strangle someone with them! Or on purpose… I don't know how you rock."

"I don't know how to tie them!" Haruhi protested, clenching her fists. This was getting to be more than a bit annoying now, with everyone around her dressed like it was the 19th century and Renge barking at her like a drill sergeant.

"Allow us!" came two synonymous voices from behind her just as Haruhi was preparing to grab Renge by the throat. The bewildered, tutu-clad girl turned to be met with the sight of the Hitachiin twins, both dressed in period suits. "We are the curators of the Paris-- I mean Ouran-- Opera House, the Monsieurs Hitachiin!"

"Not you guys too," Haruhi said with a sigh as the twins bent down, each taking charge of one slipper and tying them correctly in a matter of seconds. "What's going on, and how do you know how to tie ballet slippers!"

"This is the Ouran Opera House! By regulation everyone here is required to know how to tie a woman's ballet slipper, even the audience!" Hikaru declared.

"If you don't know how, you can't even buy a ticket!" Kaoru added.

Haruhi sighed again, dying a bit inside as she brushed her bangs out of her face and adjusted the rather itchy skirt of her costume. "Can this be over soon?"

"Over!?" the twins asked her at synonymously.

"It's not even close to over!" Kaoru cried.

"When La Haninozuka is involved, a production is never over until the end of the very final night of its showing! _Then_ it's over!" Renge informed her, clasping her hands under her chin. "You're going to adore it! The lights, the atmosphere, the music! Even as only a lowly chorus girl you're gong to have such a wonderful time!"

"Lowly?" Haruhi grumbled as she was pushed in the direction of the stage, where she could see a large group of other chorus girls going through a dance routine. "And what do you mean?"

"I mean you're in the chorus!" Renge told her incredulously. "You've been a chorus girl since you came to live in the opera house as a child when your father died!"

"My father's still alive…" Haruhi told her, and distinctly saw Renge push someone in a dress with long chestnut hair behind a curtain as they passed.

"No he isn't! Your past is dark and troubled!" Renge told her, throwing a fist in the air. "But through your inner strength you shall overcome, become a heroine and grow old with your one true love!"

"But… oh god, why do I always have to be the heroine?" Haruhi asked, blinking several times as she was forced into the bright light of the stage. She put a hand in front of her face to block out the light, and when she took it away she was met by the sight of Hunny standing center stage, wrapped in a fluffy pink dress as his long golden curls descended over his shoulders. "Hunny-sempai?" she asked, stepping a little closer to the tiny third-year.

"Haru-chan, I'm a prima donna!" he told her, twirling in a circle, the dress fanning out around him. "I have a frilly frilly dress! And look at my precious little dog! His name is Takashi!" he said, patting the aforementioned animal, who crouched at his feet, on the head. The tall, dark haired "dog" stared mutely at Haruhi and muttered a soft "woof".

"_Mori-sempai_?" she asked incredulously, wondering for the hundredth time that morning what in the world was going on. It was almost enough to make her wonder if someone had put PCP in her cereal that morning, and yet again she considered making a run for it.

"Somebody bring me my Bun-Bun!" Hunny demanded in a very convincing starlet voice, clapping his hands in a businesslike manner. "Or you're all going to have a very angry La Haninozuka on your hands!" in a matter of seconds, someone had thrust the toy into his hands and he squeezed it happily, beaming at Haruhi. "I'm a big star, Haru-chan! Everyone has to do what I say!"

"What in the world is going on?" she asked aloud.

"Alright, everyone!" a sudden voice cut out over the chatter of the cast, and every individual was struck silent by the appearance of Kyouya mounting the stage, who adjusted his bun and slid his glasses delicately back up the bridge of his nose. "It's time to run through the dress rehearsal again! Maybe this time some of you can get it right…"

It was one of those moments when Haruhi just wished she could melt into the floor and never come out again.

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**Yes, Hunny is Carlotta and Kyouya is Meg's mom XD The rest of the cast will be revealed eventually. **


End file.
